First of all, I never said that spy month was going to be a CONSECUTIVE 31 days. Right? *checks with lawyer, who nods solemnly* Right. Cool. Okay, if you want to read the other blog posts you can do so here.
Yes, It’s JUST a Trilogy
In this weird shadow universe where tyrannical television hosts now run nations, I refuse to let one more injustice tip the scales. So, we’re not going to acknowledge any of the Bourne films beyond Ultimatum. You know that a series has really given up when they give up their title schemes (Bourne Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatum/Legacy) and just go “ah, well I guess we could just call it JASON Bourne.” Seriously? You couldn’t even do “Bourne: Jason” as a clever call out to Bond?
Anyways, I know I tell you guys to fight me a lot when you’re holding opinions that are different than mine, but you can fight me if you think Legacy and Jason Bourne were actually good movies.*
*By the end of spy month, I’m just going to be fending off strangers with my jiu jitsu skills 24/7 as I get tackled in the streets by the populous of Los Angeles with terrible taste.
Why Bourne Beats Bond
Look at this poster. I would stand in line for this poster.**
**Get it? It’s a Moby joke. If you don’t get this great joke, stop everything and go re-listen to Extreme Ways, aka the greatest theme song in spy movie history, and its 27 remixes come back an enlightened human being with good music taste. I’ll wait.[Read more…]