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TV writer who eats danger for breakfast

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Pain Clarifies Priorities: Getting My Rheumatoid Arthritis Diagnosis and Creatively Recalibrating

February 23, 2021 by Amy Suto Leave a Comment

“I can’t walk,” I struggled to say, lying on an exam room table at USC’s health center six years ago as two doctors stood over me. My hip felt like someone had poured gasoline on it and laughed as they lit the match.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” the doctor said after he completed with the exam. “Try a heating pad and some pain pills.”

The medical staff called a car to take me back to my dorm, and I hobbled to the elevator, trying not to cry as I struggled to get back to my bed. Something was wrong with me — this kind of pain wasn’t normal. I didn’t need a medical degree to know that.

But I wouldn’t find out the cause until this past January. In the past 6-7 years, I’ve had joint pain that blasts out of nowhere, lighting different joints on fire one day to the point where I couldn’t move — or do anything other than pray that the heaviest pain pill dose I could concoct would actually work — and then it would just disappear the next.

For the past two years, it started to get a lot harder to type or bear any weight on my wrists. This coincided with getting my 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training. In my yoga training, I almost completely lost my ability to do planks and other basic moves that were integral to the core yoga sequences. I had to get super crafty, and with the support of my teachers and fellow classmates, I redesigned entire sequences to be done on forearms instead (helloooo the challenge that is forearm crow!) so that I could teach yoga classes in the community. On my worst days, I struggled with the pain I was experiencing in a practice that was meant to be calming and restorative.

Then, 2020 came around, and things got a lot worse. Not only was I experiencing pain, but my joints started to swell as the fluid in my fingers and then my toes broke down and became something I couldn’t ignore.

In January of 2021, I got to the doctor’s office and after a set of blood tests, my official diagnosis came in: I had the autoimmune disease known as rheumatoid arthritis.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: All Posts, Essays, Health and Wellness, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Who is Amy Suto?

About Amy Suto

I’m Amy, I write thrillers for TV, produce scripted podcasts for your ears, and ghostwrite memoirs for people all over the world. I also write personal essays, short stories, and things for the internet. I’m living with the autoimmune condition Rheumatoid Arthritis, and write about my journey to heal my chronic illness (and mourn the loss of coffee and alcohol from my diet!) here on my blog. Check out my portfolio page, sign-up for my writing tips newsletter below, and don’t hesitate to get in touch and share your favorite coffeeshop recommendations! Want to work together? Tell me about you and your project here.

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It’s here! Listen to The Last Station, the scripted podcast I wrote and produced about the last radio host at the end of the world who gets her first caller and realizes she’s not alone. It’s a sci-fi mystery series and I can’t wait for you to experience it.

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Recent Posts

  • Pain Clarifies Priorities: Getting My Rheumatoid Arthritis Diagnosis and Creatively Recalibrating
  • So You Wanna Be a Great Writer/Artist/Musician: How to “Honor the Work” as a Creative
  • How Much Does Hiring a Memoir Ghostwriter Cost?
  • Quarantine Nomads: How Freelancers Can Live and Work Remotely — and Safely During COVID-19
  • Nobody is Going to Make Your Thing: The Cavalry Isn’t Coming and Other Hollywood Pep Talks



Because I’m a Millennial

sutoscience

Amy Suto
So proud to be an EP with @kylefcords on @kingdomo So proud to be an EP with @kylefcords on @kingdomofpavement’s newest scripted podcast, JUST TO BE NOMINATED, which was featured in Vulture today. Created by @colormejorge, everyone on this project brought their murder-y A-Game. Listen to the first ep now! KingdomofPavement.com/JTBN @jtbnpodcast 
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#scriptedpodcast #oscars #awardseason #story #season #writing #amwriting #writerscommunity #writersofig #writersofinstagram #reader #murder #murdermystery #murdershewrote #truecrime #truecrimepodcast
As a writer, I’ve always believed we have to wri As a writer, I’ve always believed we have to write honestly and openly about our world. Today is no different — at the beginning of this year I was diagnosed with the incurable autoimmune disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) and am one of those aggressive medications you’ve probably seen on TV commercials. This disease happens when the body’s immune system attacks its own joints, causing chronic pain and disfiguration (my fingers look like sausages right now, and not in a sexy way) and it just generally sucks. I wrote a post on my blog (AmySuto.com) about how I’m coping (lots of green juice and complaining about the number of pills I have to take each day to my quarantine roadtrip friends) and am going to be contributing more to the dialog of what I’m finding works for me. The thing that has helped so far is being able to read about other people’s experiences with this disease and what they’ve found to be effective in reducing pain and retaining mobility, and I’d like to be a part of the conversation of what it means to heal from chronic illness. (And mourn the loss of coffee and alcohol and gluten and dairy from my life — major RIP) So, while I’d welcome your soy-free and gluten-free vegan recipe suggestions, I’d also love for this to mostly be a reminder that there are probably other people in your life who are going through health problems they aren’t sharing, and to hold some space in your day to honor the invisible battles the people around you are fighting on a daily basis. 
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#rheumatoidarthritis #health #wellness #blog #bloggersofinstagram #rheumatoidarthritiswarrior #write #writer #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #create #chronicillness #autoimmunedisease #autoimmunearthritis #autoimmunewellness #autoimmunehealing
So thrilled for @colormejorge’s scripted podcast So thrilled for @colormejorge’s scripted podcast, @jtbnpodcast! Produced by my production company @kingdomofpavement, don’t miss this award season murder mystery. Listen to the full trailer wherever you check out podcasts, links at: KINGDOMOFPAVEMENT.COM/JTBN
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#jtbn #scriptedpodcast #podcast #podcasting #producer #podcastersofinstagram #create #story #awards #listen
Episode 106 of Kingdom of Pavement’s @thelastst Episode 106 of Kingdom of Pavement’s  @thelaststationpodcast is live wherever you listen to podcasts— be ready to receive a message of SAFETY, COMMUNITY, AND HOPE written by @colormejorge, executive produced by @kylefcords and @sutoscience, directed by @tymaw, edited by @mglennsound, scored by @sudsmusic and starring @the_other_keanu, @itsbexfinch, and @danielrashid with @mattkeibler and Sarah High. And whatever you do — DON’T LISTEN TO THE NUMBERS.
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#scriptedpodcast #scifi #art #create #podcast #sciencefiction #podcastersofinstagram #podcastlife #podcasting #audio #radio #radiodrama #story #storytelling #writing #writingcommunity #writersofinstagram
Snippet from our shoot in the desert last year wit Snippet from our shoot in the desert last year with the badass @idaliavalles_ and @medwardsphx, can’t wait to eventually get back to filming projects again!

#Repost @idaliavalles_
・・・
A casual stroll in the desert 🏜 excerpt from @sutoscience projects 🎥 @medwardsphx
In 2020, we were constantly faced with our own mor In 2020, we were constantly faced with our own mortality. If your life was taken away from you tomorrow, what would you do differently today? What would you change in yourself and the world around you? In reading this book about how different cultures around the world treat death so much differently than us, I also think our fear of death harms us. In thinking that we’re going to live forever, America pretends very real viruses don’t exist, and we don’t make the changes today that would lead to a better tomorrow. The fact that death is an inevitability is both freeing and a call to make the most of the time that we do have. Here’s to 2021 and the way in which we can make the most of it ✨
I'm doing a blog series heading into the new year I'm doing a blog series heading into the new year about building better habits and mental frameworks around our work as writers and creatives, and this first installment is about how to "honor the work" it takes to make great art. Check it out at AmySuto.com and I will one day also be updating my email newsletter before the end of this godforsaken year so if that's your jam feel free to sign-up!
Taking a yoga break in-between working on a key wr Taking a yoga break in-between working on a key writing project today— I’ve loved playing with standing balance flows lately because they help with focus. If you’re trying not to fall over it’s hard to have wandering thoughts 🙂 warrior 2 > triangle > half moon > crescent 🌙 lunge > warrior 3 > half chair > eagle > warrior 3 was one of my favorite challenge sequences I taught in my yoga classes pre-pandemic, and is a great way to quiet your mind even if you fall out of it like I did 🙃 one of my favorite yoga teachers used to tell me falling is just proof that we’re challenging ourselves. If we’re doing everything perfectly, we’re too far within our comfort zone.
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#yoga #writing #movement #yogapractice #yogaflow #yogadaily #writing #scriptchat #nature wearing @alo #aloyoga
I’ve spent most of 2020 in cozy spaces reading w I’ve spent most of 2020 in cozy spaces reading with my cat, and there’s something satisfying in the simplicity of sifting through all these good books. My current read is “Women Who Run With Wolves,” a book analyzing mythology and feminine nature that’s deeply fascinating and a life-changing read. We don’t think about the wisdom we need to protect our creative nature and inner worlds, and this book goes into how to find restoration and strength even in our chaotic environment. A full list of all my favorite books from this year coming to my blog soon!
This is been a year of climbing mountains. Whether This is been a year of climbing mountains. Whether we’re forming a fictional folk band and need to get our album cover or creating new systems and structures from scratch, I couldn’t be more grateful for the people beside me as we build a kingdom that can pave a new road into Hollywood and storytelling. Every day I get to wake up and work on projects I love, help fascinating folks tell their stories, and try to make my corner of this world a little brighter. In 2021 I’m planning to keep upholding the standards and values I want in our work, and to bring some really special art to life. Even as things are burning, we can find a way to use the flames to show us the way to what’s next.
Enjoying the last few days of working remotely in Enjoying the last few days of working remotely in Palm Springs. It’s been a lovely month soaking up the last of the summer (fall?) sun while writing by the pool and transitioning to fire pit days. Working in inspiring places has helped me focus on the top-secret writing work I’m doing for really inspiring people, and think deeply about the right way to tell a story from all angles. Soon, back to LA, home for the holidays, and onto the next adventure as we try to make the most of our quarantine world with really exceptional people.
Lots of late nights writing, working, and drinking Lots of late nights writing, working, and drinking whiskey lately 🥃 it’s been a busy year, but I’m lucky to be working on projects I love.
Spent all of the past month living and working rem Spent all of the past month living and working remotely in the Colorado Rockies, and here’s what I learned:

1) Fresh air and long hikes can fix a lot
2) What can’t be fixed by 1 can be remedied with good friends and long conversations 
3) What can’t be fixed by 1 and 2 can be solved by renouncing all material possessions and just moving to the woods permanently and taking up whittling 
4) While I’m not quite at 3 just yet, I’m working on trying to carve out a place in the world that feels full of life and heart and community. It’s going to take a long time to build everything we’re working on, with a lot of hard decisions along the road. But I’m excited to keep making progress and creating stories I care about with talented folks.

Stay safe and here’s to hoping we’ll get our blue skies back in LA sometime soon 💙
The trees are changing like we all are; the season The trees are changing like we all are; the seasons of life we go through can either cultivate personal growth or personal fear and I’m hoping to always have the courage to choose the former.
Spent the past four days off-the-grid, driving to Spent the past four days off-the-grid, driving to Colorado and spending a night in a yurt in the middle of the Utah desert 🌵 now we’re in the woods and back in semi-civilization to write, quarantine together, and work on all the things.
This is easily one of the most influential books I This is easily one of the most influential books I’ve read this year: even if you haven’t dealt with trauma personally (and there’s different levels of trauma), you interact with people in your world who have — even if you don’t know it. Understanding how trauma affects the core of us on a cellular level is critical to understanding how the mental affects the physical. This book is also an important glimpse into why people behave badly: usually, there’s unresolved trauma at the heart of someone acting out. If everyone was more trauma-informed, we’d be able to make strides to solving the public health crisis at the heart of these traumatic incidents, and be in a better place to help provide healing modalities like yoga, therapy, and EMDR.
Going to the woods for a bit to work remotely and Going to the woods for a bit to work remotely and write and maybe take up an obscure hobby like whittling. Maybe I’ll build a cabin with my bare hands and just work on the land. Maybe I’ll finally finish my Next Great American Novel. I don’t know. All I know is that pine trees are cool and we have to be well-rested for the revolution 🌹
In episode 103, Holden is trapped in an abandoned In episode 103, Holden is trapped in an abandoned mine with no way out — with a monster that steals time and distorts the airwaves. Catch up on @thelaststationpodcast now! // THELASTSTATIONPODCAST.COM // trailer edited by @lizzskywalker ✨
So I'm not ~saying~ you should go illegally downlo So I'm not ~saying~ you should go illegally download CONDOR season 2 just to watch episode 206 that I co-wrote.... but if you do, I hope you enjoy :) This season isn't available in the US yet, but can't wait to share it legally once it is!
My co-producer and I at this morning’s awesome r My co-producer and I at this morning’s awesome recording session for @thelaststationpodcast episode 104, what a joyful few hours! Lots of talented folks in this ep, lots of chicken puns written by yours truly, and you’re not going to see the twist coming :) get your ears ready for some more sci-fi post-apocalyptic storytelling and sweet tunes ✨
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Recent Posts

  • Pain Clarifies Priorities: Getting My Rheumatoid Arthritis Diagnosis and Creatively Recalibrating
  • So You Wanna Be a Great Writer/Artist/Musician: How to “Honor the Work” as a Creative
  • How Much Does Hiring a Memoir Ghostwriter Cost?
  • Quarantine Nomads: How Freelancers Can Live and Work Remotely — and Safely During COVID-19
  • Nobody is Going to Make Your Thing: The Cavalry Isn’t Coming and Other Hollywood Pep Talks

Because I’m a Millennial

sutoscience

Amy Suto
So proud to be an EP with @kylefcords on @kingdomo So proud to be an EP with @kylefcords on @kingdomofpavement’s newest scripted podcast, JUST TO BE NOMINATED, which was featured in Vulture today. Created by @colormejorge, everyone on this project brought their murder-y A-Game. Listen to the first ep now! KingdomofPavement.com/JTBN @jtbnpodcast 
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#scriptedpodcast #oscars #awardseason #story #season #writing #amwriting #writerscommunity #writersofig #writersofinstagram #reader #murder #murdermystery #murdershewrote #truecrime #truecrimepodcast
As a writer, I’ve always believed we have to wri As a writer, I’ve always believed we have to write honestly and openly about our world. Today is no different — at the beginning of this year I was diagnosed with the incurable autoimmune disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) and am one of those aggressive medications you’ve probably seen on TV commercials. This disease happens when the body’s immune system attacks its own joints, causing chronic pain and disfiguration (my fingers look like sausages right now, and not in a sexy way) and it just generally sucks. I wrote a post on my blog (AmySuto.com) about how I’m coping (lots of green juice and complaining about the number of pills I have to take each day to my quarantine roadtrip friends) and am going to be contributing more to the dialog of what I’m finding works for me. The thing that has helped so far is being able to read about other people’s experiences with this disease and what they’ve found to be effective in reducing pain and retaining mobility, and I’d like to be a part of the conversation of what it means to heal from chronic illness. (And mourn the loss of coffee and alcohol and gluten and dairy from my life — major RIP) So, while I’d welcome your soy-free and gluten-free vegan recipe suggestions, I’d also love for this to mostly be a reminder that there are probably other people in your life who are going through health problems they aren’t sharing, and to hold some space in your day to honor the invisible battles the people around you are fighting on a daily basis. 
.
.
.
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#rheumatoidarthritis #health #wellness #blog #bloggersofinstagram #rheumatoidarthritiswarrior #write #writer #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #create #chronicillness #autoimmunedisease #autoimmunearthritis #autoimmunewellness #autoimmunehealing
So thrilled for @colormejorge’s scripted podcast So thrilled for @colormejorge’s scripted podcast, @jtbnpodcast! Produced by my production company @kingdomofpavement, don’t miss this award season murder mystery. Listen to the full trailer wherever you check out podcasts, links at: KINGDOMOFPAVEMENT.COM/JTBN
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#jtbn #scriptedpodcast #podcast #podcasting #producer #podcastersofinstagram #create #story #awards #listen
Episode 106 of Kingdom of Pavement’s @thelastst Episode 106 of Kingdom of Pavement’s  @thelaststationpodcast is live wherever you listen to podcasts— be ready to receive a message of SAFETY, COMMUNITY, AND HOPE written by @colormejorge, executive produced by @kylefcords and @sutoscience, directed by @tymaw, edited by @mglennsound, scored by @sudsmusic and starring @the_other_keanu, @itsbexfinch, and @danielrashid with @mattkeibler and Sarah High. And whatever you do — DON’T LISTEN TO THE NUMBERS.
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#scriptedpodcast #scifi #art #create #podcast #sciencefiction #podcastersofinstagram #podcastlife #podcasting #audio #radio #radiodrama #story #storytelling #writing #writingcommunity #writersofinstagram
Snippet from our shoot in the desert last year wit Snippet from our shoot in the desert last year with the badass @idaliavalles_ and @medwardsphx, can’t wait to eventually get back to filming projects again!

#Repost @idaliavalles_
・・・
A casual stroll in the desert 🏜 excerpt from @sutoscience projects 🎥 @medwardsphx
In 2020, we were constantly faced with our own mor In 2020, we were constantly faced with our own mortality. If your life was taken away from you tomorrow, what would you do differently today? What would you change in yourself and the world around you? In reading this book about how different cultures around the world treat death so much differently than us, I also think our fear of death harms us. In thinking that we’re going to live forever, America pretends very real viruses don’t exist, and we don’t make the changes today that would lead to a better tomorrow. The fact that death is an inevitability is both freeing and a call to make the most of the time that we do have. Here’s to 2021 and the way in which we can make the most of it ✨
I'm doing a blog series heading into the new year I'm doing a blog series heading into the new year about building better habits and mental frameworks around our work as writers and creatives, and this first installment is about how to "honor the work" it takes to make great art. Check it out at AmySuto.com and I will one day also be updating my email newsletter before the end of this godforsaken year so if that's your jam feel free to sign-up!
Taking a yoga break in-between working on a key wr Taking a yoga break in-between working on a key writing project today— I’ve loved playing with standing balance flows lately because they help with focus. If you’re trying not to fall over it’s hard to have wandering thoughts 🙂 warrior 2 > triangle > half moon > crescent 🌙 lunge > warrior 3 > half chair > eagle > warrior 3 was one of my favorite challenge sequences I taught in my yoga classes pre-pandemic, and is a great way to quiet your mind even if you fall out of it like I did 🙃 one of my favorite yoga teachers used to tell me falling is just proof that we’re challenging ourselves. If we’re doing everything perfectly, we’re too far within our comfort zone.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#yoga #writing #movement #yogapractice #yogaflow #yogadaily #writing #scriptchat #nature wearing @alo #aloyoga
I’ve spent most of 2020 in cozy spaces reading w I’ve spent most of 2020 in cozy spaces reading with my cat, and there’s something satisfying in the simplicity of sifting through all these good books. My current read is “Women Who Run With Wolves,” a book analyzing mythology and feminine nature that’s deeply fascinating and a life-changing read. We don’t think about the wisdom we need to protect our creative nature and inner worlds, and this book goes into how to find restoration and strength even in our chaotic environment. A full list of all my favorite books from this year coming to my blog soon!
This is been a year of climbing mountains. Whether This is been a year of climbing mountains. Whether we’re forming a fictional folk band and need to get our album cover or creating new systems and structures from scratch, I couldn’t be more grateful for the people beside me as we build a kingdom that can pave a new road into Hollywood and storytelling. Every day I get to wake up and work on projects I love, help fascinating folks tell their stories, and try to make my corner of this world a little brighter. In 2021 I’m planning to keep upholding the standards and values I want in our work, and to bring some really special art to life. Even as things are burning, we can find a way to use the flames to show us the way to what’s next.
Enjoying the last few days of working remotely in Enjoying the last few days of working remotely in Palm Springs. It’s been a lovely month soaking up the last of the summer (fall?) sun while writing by the pool and transitioning to fire pit days. Working in inspiring places has helped me focus on the top-secret writing work I’m doing for really inspiring people, and think deeply about the right way to tell a story from all angles. Soon, back to LA, home for the holidays, and onto the next adventure as we try to make the most of our quarantine world with really exceptional people.
Lots of late nights writing, working, and drinking Lots of late nights writing, working, and drinking whiskey lately 🥃 it’s been a busy year, but I’m lucky to be working on projects I love.
Spent all of the past month living and working rem Spent all of the past month living and working remotely in the Colorado Rockies, and here’s what I learned:

1) Fresh air and long hikes can fix a lot
2) What can’t be fixed by 1 can be remedied with good friends and long conversations 
3) What can’t be fixed by 1 and 2 can be solved by renouncing all material possessions and just moving to the woods permanently and taking up whittling 
4) While I’m not quite at 3 just yet, I’m working on trying to carve out a place in the world that feels full of life and heart and community. It’s going to take a long time to build everything we’re working on, with a lot of hard decisions along the road. But I’m excited to keep making progress and creating stories I care about with talented folks.

Stay safe and here’s to hoping we’ll get our blue skies back in LA sometime soon 💙
The trees are changing like we all are; the season The trees are changing like we all are; the seasons of life we go through can either cultivate personal growth or personal fear and I’m hoping to always have the courage to choose the former.
Spent the past four days off-the-grid, driving to Spent the past four days off-the-grid, driving to Colorado and spending a night in a yurt in the middle of the Utah desert 🌵 now we’re in the woods and back in semi-civilization to write, quarantine together, and work on all the things.
This is easily one of the most influential books I This is easily one of the most influential books I’ve read this year: even if you haven’t dealt with trauma personally (and there’s different levels of trauma), you interact with people in your world who have — even if you don’t know it. Understanding how trauma affects the core of us on a cellular level is critical to understanding how the mental affects the physical. This book is also an important glimpse into why people behave badly: usually, there’s unresolved trauma at the heart of someone acting out. If everyone was more trauma-informed, we’d be able to make strides to solving the public health crisis at the heart of these traumatic incidents, and be in a better place to help provide healing modalities like yoga, therapy, and EMDR.
Going to the woods for a bit to work remotely and Going to the woods for a bit to work remotely and write and maybe take up an obscure hobby like whittling. Maybe I’ll build a cabin with my bare hands and just work on the land. Maybe I’ll finally finish my Next Great American Novel. I don’t know. All I know is that pine trees are cool and we have to be well-rested for the revolution 🌹
In episode 103, Holden is trapped in an abandoned In episode 103, Holden is trapped in an abandoned mine with no way out — with a monster that steals time and distorts the airwaves. Catch up on @thelaststationpodcast now! // THELASTSTATIONPODCAST.COM // trailer edited by @lizzskywalker ✨
So I'm not ~saying~ you should go illegally downlo So I'm not ~saying~ you should go illegally download CONDOR season 2 just to watch episode 206 that I co-wrote.... but if you do, I hope you enjoy :) This season isn't available in the US yet, but can't wait to share it legally once it is!
My co-producer and I at this morning’s awesome r My co-producer and I at this morning’s awesome recording session for @thelaststationpodcast episode 104, what a joyful few hours! Lots of talented folks in this ep, lots of chicken puns written by yours truly, and you’re not going to see the twist coming :) get your ears ready for some more sci-fi post-apocalyptic storytelling and sweet tunes ✨
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