Eventually I’m going to make a “video resume,” which will basically be a 60-minute long montage of me doing awesome things like skydiving and winning a game of extreme shuffleboard.
And then it’ll be like, JACKIE CHAN KARATE CHOP SMASH CUT TO BLACK.
JOB INTERVIEWER (V.O.): “Amy, what’s your weakness?”
ME: “That’s easy. Bullets and fire.” And then EXPLODE into the credits.
Michael Bay, you can call me anytime.
So here’s a conclusive list of moments that will never appear on my resume. Nor should they. I just need to prove to my adoring fans (all three of them) that I’m not some sort of flawless super-successful artisan of words.
Yes! Amy’s finally posted pointless anecdotes about her life! [Read more…]